| Valentines Day.. never goes the way you want it to. |
[14 Feb 2006|10:03pm] |
So...
I thought Valentine's Day was going to be awesome this year.. and not horrible like usual.
But then it took a turn for the worst and I ended up crying most of the night.
I love my boyfriend so much.. but sometimes I just dont know what to do. He hurts me so much.
anyways..
My best friend Emily came to my rescue and we ended up having girl night which was awesome. We went tanning (though I was wicked scared after watching Final Destination 3) and then we went to Barnes and Nobles to hang out. Tom met up with us there which was awesome because I havent seen him in awhile.
So..
Heres to hoping next year is better.
<3
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[02 Jan 2006|07:48pm] |
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mood |
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 loved |
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music |
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James Taylor |
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I love my roomate and Hillarie so much along with everyone else at Anna Maria College, but I am transferring. I will not be there this coming semester. I dont know what I am going to do though. I am going to try and get a substitute teaching job in Manchester and continue working at the Verizon for awhile. I might keep my job bartending at school though, because I just got it and I need the money. Plus I have to visit everyone anyways. I might as well work while Im there.
I got a boyfriend now too. He's really nice and he's good to me. Thats a huge change! Plus all my friends and family love him! This never happens. Him living up here is one reason Im not too mad that my dad wants me to transfer. I love Peter.
I hope 2006 is better than 2005. Because I had a very rough year. I just everyone to live this year. <3
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| My Thursday Night.. |
[09 Dec 2005|08:00pm] |
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Marissa and I went to Boston yesterday to visit some friends. I told Kris and Cliff I was coming but I did not tell Mike. I wanted to surprise him. I didnt care if he had plans already or not, I wouldnt have gotten in the way. I was supposed to stay with Cliff anyways. I just wanted to surprise him and say hello because I missed him. We left to go get dinner and Cliff and his roomate went to the Sean Paul concert. They were supposed to call us when it was over so they could come back and sign us in and hang out. Mike said we shouldve called and he was going to a party. Thats fine we'll find something else to do right? We called Matt Murray and he said he was really busy with homework.. so that wasnt an option. We called up David McDoo but he went home for the weekend already. Cliff told us Kris was working until Midnight and couldnt hang out with us either. So we got in touch with Dan Basset and went out to coffee with him. The we took the T back to Fisher and tried to wait for someone to sign us in. Cliff didnt answer his phone so we figured he was still at the concert. Mike didnt answer right away and when he finally did he was at the party and didnt know when he'd be back. That was fine I guess because Cliff should be out soon and if not Kris got out at Midnight. Well Cliff's phone died and he didnt call us. He went out to a party with Mike actually instead. No one knows what happened to Brandon who is Cliff's roomate. Kris got out of work at 10pm.. so we waited for no reason. Finally we got David to call Kris to find out where he was.. or IM him or something. Kris came down and met us. The security guard told us we could no be signed in after 11pm. awesome because it was 12:30am. well the T closes at 12:30 and the security guard told us the commuter was closed all weekend anyways because of the snow. even better! so we still had no where to go. Umm so we tried to call all of our friends back at school to help us out of a hard situation. Everyone was too drunk to help us apparently. and Eric was awesome and had hung up on me earlier.. which made my night just so awesome. So anyways Mike and Cliff come back from the party nice and drunk. they go and talk to the security guard and we still cant come in.. theres no where for us to go. Mike decides its all my fault for not calling him.. which i guess it is in a way. I shouldve called, but I wanted to surprise him.. I guess surprises just arent ment to happen. plus no one appreciates them. Well we're sitting there waiting for my cousin to hopefully find his way to boston from manchester because we dont want to sleep in the boston commons on a bench with the rest of the homeless population. (though we did take a nap on the subway bench and under a tree because it was so cold). well mikes still complaining about me not calling. and jokingly im like well i dont like you.. like i was just kidding. but he got wicked angry and goes w/e and went upstairs.. i tried to call after him because i didnt want him to leave. i didnt even get a hug hello or goodbye. but he left anyways. and when he figured out he left Cliff there with no key he told him to just call him when he was done with us and he'd let them in.. awesome. So then security came and kicked us out of the lobby completely.. so we wandered around and sat under a statue near some pan handlers. It was such a cold night and I dont think Ive ever cried so much. Luckily my cousin is amazing and found us and brought me home to NH.. where i snuck into my house at 4am.
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| *Tear* |
[18 Nov 2005|05:58pm] |
Day 1
Mommy, I am only 8 inches long, but I have all my organs. I love the sound of your voice. Every time I hear it, I wave my arms and legs. The sound of your heart beat is my favorite lullaby.
Day 2
Mommy, today I learned how to suck my thumb. If you could see me, you could definitely tell that I am a baby. I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though. It is so nice and warm in here.
Day 3
You know what Mommy, I'm a girl!! I hope that makes you happy. I always want you to be happy. I don't like it when you cry. You sound so sad. It makes me sad too, and I cry with you even though you can't hear me.
Day 4
Mommy, my hair is starting to grow. It is very short and fine, but I will have a lot of it. I spend a lot of my time exercising. I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes, and stretch my arms and legs. I am becoming quite good at it too.
Day 5
You went to the doctor today. Mommy, he lied to you. He said that I'm not a baby. I am a baby Mommy, your baby. I think and feel. Mommy, what's abortion?
Day 6
I can hear that doctor again. I don't like him. He seems cold and heartless. Something is intruding my home. The doctor called it a needle. Mommy what is it? It burns! Please make him stop! I can't get away from it! Mommy!! HELP me!! No . . .
Day 7
Mommy, I am okay. I am in Jesus's arms. he is holding me. He told me about abortion. Why didn't you want me Mommy?
One more heart that was stopped. Two more eyes that will never see. Two more hands that will never touch. Two more legs that will never run. One more mouth that will never speak. Destroyed by a "doctor." Please Choose Life.
PLEASE REPOST THIS IF U CHOOSE LIFE!!!!!!!!!"
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| Home Sick :-/ |
[07 Nov 2005|11:41pm] |
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damaged- TLC |
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I have decided that I dont want to go to school here anymore. I mean its a fun school and its one of the only ones with my major, but i cant handle going to school here anymore. I just cant. I want to go home and be with my family. I am losing all the people that I care about and that is the worst feeling in the world. I never talk to my parents or my brother and sister and I love them so much. I used to have little talks with my sister everyday. I used to hang out with my little brother and play video games with him.. not I cant. I miss hanging out with my dad and our little talks.. i miss being daddys little girl. i miss crying with my mom and our of our fights. i miss my best friends, mike jacobs, kevin jolin, and melissa drew. they were always there for me and i my best memories are with them. i need them so much right now. i hate being so far away from them. i miss doug, and how we used to hang out everyday and yet still call each other every night and talk for hours. i miss getting out of work at 7am and getting a nice message from him on myspace. i even miss crying every night knowing we'd drift apart as we have. i miss manchester.. the backroom, the red arrow, stadium ten pin, central high school, i miss my teachers and principals.. i miss st.casimir. i miss not being poor and actually working. i miss the verizon arena and serving beer only to realize they were a minor.. ok maybe i dont miss that part of it. but i miss being there and taking to the customers and just enjoying a good monarchs game.
I doubt very much that i will be attending this college in the spring. i dont know if ill even make it to the end of the semester.. dec 15th. i may go to St.A's or SNHU.. i dont know. but i want to live at home with my family. ill save money that way, and i think ill be a lot better off. I dont know what else to do.
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[26 Aug 2005|08:30pm] |
I absolutely love college!
It is the greatest experience of my life.
Im so happy. I didnt think I would be.. but I am!!!
you should all send me wicked awesome letters! so we can be penpals!! ive always wanted a penpal!
Patricia Zorawowicz
Box #669 (DO NOT PUT PO BOX.. ITS JUST BOX! lol)
Anna Maria College
50 Sunset Lane
Paxton, MA 01612
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| I think I cry way to much lately.. I def. cried a ton writing this.. :-/ |
[13 Aug 2005|07:43am] |
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mood |
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I do not want to go to college.
I want everything to go back to the way it was.
I want Mike Jacobs to still be my best friend. I love him so much and I
seriously dont know what I wouldve done without him by my side. I miss
him so much. I miss hanging out with him 24/7, we used to be
inseparatable. I miss eating all his bagels and doing student council
assemblies with him. I miss being his best friend and being able to
call him when I was in trouble or I just didnt want to be alone. I miss
how he was always the first person to come over. I miss how he would
hang out with my family even when I wasnt home. I miss our rides into
school together. I miss so much that we've gone through. I just miss
you.
I want Nick Roy to still be my "husband" and one of my best friends. I
want to go to halo parties on the weekends. and hang out in the student
council room mod b everyday. i want to be in chem with him and dress up
the graduated cylinders. i want to burn chs yearbooks at your dads
house. I want you to make me scrambled eggs at your house in the
morning. i do not want your dog peeing on my 05 shirt.. I want movie
nights at your house. I want to hear you and Adam bicker all the time
and then hug and cuddle. I want to light you on fire more lol. and play
with gun powder. I love nicholas.
I want Gina Russell and Adam Laferriere to still be my BFF^3. I
want to play piddle with them every night. I want to play basketball
with Adam and his family. I want to go to chaos meetings though im not
on the team. I want to get lost in Auburn and end up on Lovers Lane
with Adam. I want to dance the entire night with Gina at the coffee
house.
I want to drive in pete-o's wicked awesome car and go to the red arrow
with him and kevin. I want to see him rolling around in semen. I want
to see him beat his baton agains bricks.
I want to watch the clock in Steve Lazos's car change the date! I want
to sit in his car and listen to music with Rachel. I want to try and
switch bodies using potatoes with Rachel. I want to be a candia kid
with Rachel and the girls. I want to hang out everyday in mod c with
Rachel. I want to be in calc with Rachel again and bring Steve bagels.
I want to go back and not have Zach hate me. I love Zach and I hate
knowing that he hates me. I didnt realize that you would get so angry
about everything I really didnt. I wish there was something I could do
to get you to forgive me. I wish we were still friends. I wish we never
went to prom together.. that may sound bad but if we hadnt then we
probably would still be friends.
for some reason I even wish PM was still around. I miss everyone
complaining about him and talking about hating him. I miss his
comments. I miss going to the gym with him.. I mean at least he would
actually go with me. I miss Faith In Action with him. I miss everyone
calling him PT. I miss him randomly showing up to parties uninvited. I
miss all of it.
I miss Andy and I wish he had never gotten married. I wish he didnt
have a little girl. I wish he didnt get stationed in Japan for 2 years.
I wish he was still my best friend. I miss him coming to all of my
family christmas parties. I miss our first kiss in the snow on
Christmas.. though its better we're friends. I miss him alot, and I
have a feeling I may never see him again.
I miss hanging out with Kevin everyday. I miss going to red arrow and
ordering the same thing every single time. I miss us always having to
talk for the group. I miss us having to plan everything together. I
miss the superbowl party at your house.. I miss all the parties at your
house. I miss you giving me a flower of V-Day. I miss our late
night/early morning chats. I miss physics with you. I put you last
because you are the only one that I still really talk to. They only one
I see. :-( I love you kevin.
I miss everything in general about highschool. I miss the hardcore
everyday crew sooo much. They were the greatest best friends anyone
could ever ask for and I am glad I got the chance to be with them even
if it is over. I just wish that everything was the way it was and would
stay like that forever. I want my friends back. :'-(
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[31 Jul 2005|03:46am] |
I really miss my friends. Heres an old list from sept.2003 that me and meghan made. just to bring back memories :'-( I blame Doug for making me remember the past lol :-D jerk! jk <3
WE HATE....
1) drama
2) fighting
3) stupid boys that think they are better than you
4) people who just wont admit whats wrong w/ them
5) people who drive really slow
6) people who buy an expensive sound system for their car and dont even use it
7) not having a chair to sit in
8) children in the hallways that dont know how to move fast enough
9) kids who run down the hallways with bags on wheels, especially when they hit you
10) when boys are mean to you in front of their friends, to try and get attention or something
11) meghan only: when my boss asks me to work when i go to get tea b/c im sick
12) when girls wear nothing, its sick, and it makes me want to throw up
13) when girls boobs hang out
14) patty only: police giving us tickets for crossing the road, b/c ash street was recently paved, and there are no cross walks!
15) when meghan couldnt park on beech street b/c of the excavator
16) homework
17) when my mom shoves a college book in my face, and says "PICK A COLLEGE! PICK A COLLEGE!" and you dont know what you want to do yet b/c you're a fool.
18) PUT SOME CLOTHES ON!
19) patty obviously: when will calls me a freak everytime i see him
20) meghan only: getting clay on your leather bag
21) when your shoes smell
22) mexican indians on tv that sing about buying furniture
23) when people go down the wrong side of the road
24) patty only: when your bus tries driving on the left hang side of the road
25) when people wear too much make-up
26) when people dont call you back, when they say they will
27) highschool relationships
28) bank lollipops, they are not sweet
29) fake action movies
30) i hate when erik calls meghan a boy
Now The Things We Like!!.....
1) my friends
2) eating icecream until you puke
3) when meghan bribes me with icecream to go to church w/ her
4) meghan only: going to target w/ kacie and throwing around football's, sitting in chairs, and trying everything out
5) when will calls meghan fool
6) summer
7) going to the beach
8) meghans camp
9) bothering patty at her house
10)justin frost's messages on meghans cell phone
11) drinking strawberry daquires on the beach at meghan's camp
12) ducks attacking our tent at pattys camp
13) patty only: getting hipmatized
14) J.FROST
15) when patty gives me funny looks
16) patty hitting on me w/ her feet
17) meghans dad making me eat everything, b/c supposedly no one else is going to eat it
18) meghans dad buying me my own pizza
19) when jackie calls meghan barbie
20) being a reckless driver
21) when meghan makes the speedometer go past the last mark
22) when my speedometer doesnt work, and stays at zero
23) meghans pumas
24) when meghan says UMMMM for like 10 mins.
25) going to the YMCA w/ patty, and getting kicked out, and getting patty's cousin kicked out, when he wasnt even there
26) meghan pretending she can sing
27) truck drivers, especially when they rape you, kill you, and throw you in a river to tim-buck-too
28) walking to dunkins in the morning in our PJs
29) going to dunkins to visit meghan and walking into the chip display, so the guy meghan is serving laughs at me
30) saves the day
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[24 Jul 2005|01:32am] |
stuck being grounded until i go to college in august.. apparently its for my own safety. dont even ask its a wicked long story. this is going to be sooo boring and wicked annoying. why do people have to start shit and break into your house damnit. oh well.
i think i finally found a nice guy.. i miss him .. i wish it my parents would let me use my phone so i could talk to him. damn safety issues. lol
<3
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[11 Jul 2005|03:26pm] |
I work wayyy too much. thats what ive decided.
I work at the verizon arena like usual.. but i usually dont get out of there until like 11ish.
I leave there and go work at GE from 11:45-6:45am
then i go home and i sleep.. its a rather depressing summer
Oh anyone want to go to maine for the weekend with me???
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[15 Jun 2005|02:49pm] |
GRADUATION TOMORROW!!!
6:30PM
VERIZON WIRELESS ARENA
BE THERE!!!!
<3
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[01 May 2005|12:51am] |
I dont know what to do anymore.. I just dont.
I know I should be mad at him, but Im not.
Im just very very very disappointed.. and very hurt.
I dont understand it either.
I kind of wish he would talk to me, except for the whole part where I know I am going to cry. Which I have been doing a whole lot of latly.
And yet I still like him.. like I know I shouldnt and I know its over and all.. but I still want to be his friend for some reason.. though I probably wont be.
I dont understand myself sometimes..
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| Rejections sucks.. |
[23 Apr 2005|10:53am] |
good guys are overrated
i still need a prom date.. and a boyfriend :-(
Party at St.A's today woo.. all day long! Holly i cant wait <3
Mikey D.'s band is playing today at Lowell to see if they can win the record deal!! GOOD LUCK YOU GUYS!
I guess Hanna is having her birthday party today too..
How come there nothing to do when Im bored, but when I have things all planned out theres a million things to do!!
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[03 Apr 2005|10:40am] |
Central week is coming up. Too much stuff to do. ehh. Im not too excited for the work, but the result should be amazing! All my boys are leaving in the middle of the week though. Stupid chaos competition had to be during central week didnt it. It couldnt wait a few days for april vacation. Im going to miss them <3
Prom dress- $400
Limo- $500
Shoes- $50
Nails and Hair- $50 if not more ehh
Prom date- None.. this sucks
I need to find a prom date sometime soon. My first choice got some girl prenant by accident and then married her to do the right thing. So I guess thats out of the question. My second choice decided to go w/ someone else then tell me they really wanted to go w/ me.. umm too late you cant ditch her like you did me, thats not right. My third choice is going w/ a guy instead of me (and he is a guy as well but not gay). And my fourth choice was a girl and she is going w/ her ex b/f instead.. So yeah once again I am left all alone. This sucks!! I need a date desperately.
on another note...
Rejection sucks!
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[28 Mar 2005|03:11pm] |
ahh the memories..
xhardxcorextost: ur just mad cause i can undo ur bra faster then u can
PaintballinMike8: loren just got his computer back
PaintballinMike8: and i was gonna walk into his room and say "loren, no having sex with the computer"... i walked in and he was bent over it yelling "it won't go in!"
SoulonFire01: and hows your bug
PattyMayo4ever: my bug is doing just great
SoulonFire01: good, i glad to smell it.....oops i mean hear it
SoulonFire01: i love your bug
SoulonFire01: i love it like a fat kid loves cake!
wishIwasEMO711: tell me a story
wishIwasEMO711: because i love you
Nasty South Paw: can we shower together?
.. now talking about whistling..
Nasty South Paw: mayb a little mouth 2 mouth
Nasty South Paw: show u how
Nasty South Paw: ;-)
misticalgirl4: patty your the best you make me smile you are so nice i hope to see you soon thanx for everything:-)
SimplySweetO7 xO: i love a man in pink
SimplySweetO7 xO: i didnt know he wears pink thats soo cool
SimplySweetO7 xO: ugh great another quality bout him that i love lol it sucks cuz im trying not to like him ne more it takes a slow process
PattyMayo4ever: yeah hes a heart throb
SimplySweetO7 xO: mmhmm
NorthEndChoppas: lol, i wear pink and im hott
SimplySweetO7 xO: uggggggh
SimplySweetO7 xO: im going nuts that i cant have him
SimplySweetO7 xO: he has like all the right qualities
SimplySweetO7 xO: hes like litterally perfect
SimplySweetO7 xO: hes dorky, hes funny, hes handsome, hes friendly
SimplySweetO7 xO: what more can u ask? lol
PattyMayo4ever: I LOVE YOU
PaintballinMike8: I LOVE YOU TOO! fine, you're not a meanie
PattyMayo4ever: hahahaha
PattyMayo4ever: mike jacobs is the bestest best friend ever
PaintballinMike8: nah, patty mayo is
PattyMayo4ever: i love you
PattyMayo4ever: hehe
PaintballinMike8: haha, i love you too
PaintballinMike8: well, then you have to go to his house and rape him
PaintballinMike8: he's such a pimp
PattyMayo4ever: ill get loren to rape you?
PaintballinMike8: gee, that makes me want to go *eye roll*
PaintballinMike8: like i said "oh, how cute, he's taking my clothes off"
ill Sk8erpagz900: well i do take off his clothes when we have gay sex
UsmellVERYbad2: i love you have a good day!!! i havent talked to you in a long time!
s1xgun5k83r900: and ur so llucky i love u
s1xgun5k83r900: oh i can find sumthing
s1xgun5k83r900: ill give me to u for a present
PattyMayo4ever: does that mean i can do w/e i want w/ you
s1xgun5k83r900: hell yes...
s1xgun5k83r900: ill put a bow on my head and walk to ur house on christmas day
s1xgun5k83r900: i love u
nakedrunnersean: *HUG*
PattyMayo4ever: your cucumber is getting shrively
nakedrunnersean: ewwwwww
nakedrunnersean: gross
PattyMayo4ever: you know what maybe its a sign
nakedrunnersean: i hope i dont have stds
nakedrunnersean: hahaha
nakedrunnersean: just dont go into prostitution to pay it off
PattyMayo4ever: good idea
PattyMayo4ever: wish i had thought of it
nakedrunnersean: NO!
PattyMayo4ever: why not
nakedrunnersean: because its bad!
E M I L YandC O: :-) I miss u
E M I L YandC O: O:-) I'm just a lil grl
PattyMayo4ever: me tooo hahhaa
E M I L YandC O: no ur a big girl who's mind is a lil girl
PattyMayo4ever: hmm good call
E M I L YandC O: call wut I hate phones!
PattyMayo4ever: hahahahaha you're silly
E M I L YandC O: O:-)
E M I L YandC O: yippie skippie!!!! Patty the coolest of all coolest seniors is gonna write to me and i'm gonna show to everyone and be like I'm special n ur not they're gonna make fun of me but that's ok cuz i got a letter from dun dun dun patty
ill probably put more in later.. just because they are fun to read <3
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[22 Mar 2005|09:20pm] |
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mood |
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music |
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less than jake- shes going to break soon |
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i still need a prom date... maybe im just too picky.
i lost my roommate for next year. her mom says she would call the school and have us move if we do it anyways.. she says shes doing this for our own good and she doesnt want us to ruin 4 years of friendship.. but we're adults and its our life. if we want to ruin it than let us. i dont know what to do. i dont want to room with someone i dont know. i just dont feel comfortable doing it.
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[22 Feb 2005|08:06pm] |
I love when your best friend goes off and gets married and doesnt even tell you, let alone invite you to the wedding..
especially when he told you he never wanted to get married ever..
and you heard he got her pregnant, but when you asked him if he was hiding something he promised he wasnt.
ahhh im so pissed...........
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[03 Feb 2005|04:24pm] |
I need to get my applications in soon.. or i wont be doing anything next year.
I went to unh, plymouth, and st.a's so far this week w/ mike.. it was quite interesting haha.
My life seems to be in a stand still right now. I dont know what to do. I can either go one way, or another, but the decision will affect the rest of my life. And right now im stuck in the middle, I cant make a decision anymore. Everything seems to be happening in slow motion. you know what i mean?
Why cant life be like a disney movie or something?.. everything is always so magical and has a happy ending.
Anyways.. I have to write a million papers. So im off to do that.
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| picturessss |
[22 Jan 2005|11:08am] |
Pictures off my cell phone
look at them they're wicked cute haha.
band semi tonight, should be quite interesting. theres supposed to be a storm, it better not be canceled.
i went out to lunch w/ matt yesturday and got to meet him, that was awesome. hes a great guy.
umm maria nick and matt are in a huge fight.. and im stuck in the middle its awesome.
mike is being really weird and hanging out w/ marissa..
im talking to steve again which is kinda odd..
me and nick and jerry are all friends again too.
i talked to my cousin andrew for the first time in a million years!!! and he lives w/ a bunch of my friends.
everything seems to be getting a little better actually on the whole..
just a few dumb things have been happening..
anyway i gotta go clean before the semi. bye. <3
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